dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
