Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
