Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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