now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
