Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just gift wrapped bread.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
