Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
there is glitter all over my balls
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