just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
is it fun? or sober?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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