i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Your cock deserves a montage
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
