I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize