Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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