If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
