I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
