Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
