I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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