I am full of burrito and curiosity
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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