Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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