super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
