what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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