You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
