Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
