it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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