I got chris browned last night
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
