I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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