I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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