K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
