If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
