haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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