I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
