So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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