This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
