Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
