hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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