it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
