For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize