So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
