u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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