Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
