it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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