i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I supernannyed him into submission
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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