Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
