...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
