no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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