your room smells of hookers.
And success
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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