ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
