that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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