You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
