If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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