I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
