This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
