I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
