it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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