K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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