he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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