you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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