people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
