hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
i need some magic done to my vagina
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
