whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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