I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
