My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
