Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
