JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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