Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize