I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
