I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
