So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
